On My Own

Tonight, for the first time in two years, I will spend the night alone. The first time in all of Little Blue's short life that I will have been away from him overnight. He has gone with daddy to a family member's wedding out of town, and I have stayed home to catch up on some work at the office and have some time to myself. I am conflicted. The parts of me that know I really need to get that work done and that it's healthy for me to want time for myself are at war with the parts of me that hate working on my personal time and would rather be anywhere with Blue and Little Blue than be here without them. So the whole weekend is likely to be wishy-washy, back-and-forth, like-it-and-hate-it. I can't wait to truly sleep in tomorrow morning, and I can't wait for them to come back tomorrow night. I dread spending five or six hours alone in my office doing boring work I don't really enjoy, and I look forward to spending an evening of watching whatever I want on television and reading books without pictures and snuggling with kitty. And calling my Blues to see how their day was and tell them good night.