Ever get that...not so fresh feeling? Keep it to yourself!

I can almost guarantee you will not want to talk about it, and no one else wants to hear about it either. Furthermore, we do not want to watch commercials about it, or any other awkward, embarrassing femmy product on the market. There ought to be laws against subjecting innocent civilians to this kind of thing! Just this evening my husband and I were enjoying a humorous evening of watching "Whose Line is it Anyway" when suddenly our delicate sensibilities were assaulted by a bizarre commercial featuring exotic flowers on a box of feminine....somethings. Honestly, we're not sure what the boxes contained, that wasn't really mentioned in the ad. But we know there were pretty flowers on the outside of the package, which seemed to be the star of the show. As these things go, it was a fairly low-blush factor commercial, and there are some that are far worse. You know the kind I'm talking about. The Blue Liquid line of feminine product commercials, guaranteed to bring you mental images of things you would rather not imagine. They have achieved what I hope is the pinnacle of their yucky powers in the creation of the "Sticky Feeling" commercial. They should show that thing to sexual predators in prison. After watching it, how could anyone want to go near a woman ever again?
Right up there with the girly product ads are the ones about certain bodily functions we will not mention here. Let's just say regularity is a topic best left to private examining rooms in doctors' offices, and not on national television. And I don't know any woman who would actually hand her husband a box of that product with the name showing in front of a plane full of gawking passengers. After all, there's a limited number of bathrooms and typically only one way to get back to your seat. Talk about a walk of shame. Folks, if you seriously find yourself wondering about these products, do us all a favor. Read the package labels in the store. Preferably alone. Consult with the pharmacist. But for pete's sake wait till I'm done paying for my uh... girly items. It's hard enough to bring them to the counter to buy without having you walk up right at that moment to ask about your....symptoms. Thanks.